Friday, March 12, 2010

NEVER under estimate the power of plastic!!

Recently another Autie mommy pondered on the question of friend or stranger, would this person have frowned on her child's tantrums or offered her the hand of friendship? I assume that all people frown on my children's behaviour as we get many a dissaproving stare when out in public such as the dreaded one below.

I am sure I am not alone in getting these looks from strangers who have absolutely no idea what it is like to live in our shoes, we all know the look, its feels like daggers between the shoulder blades and you feel the panic rise up inside you and think 'God I have to get out of here now or I will scream'!!  One such incident happened to me about a week or so ago when my affore mentioned little darling decided to throw one hell of a tantrum in Lidl's and proceeded to end up on the floor just at the checkout, bless him!!

Within minutes the lady in front of me gave me the most withering stare possible and I wanted the ground to open me up and swallow me but then I remembered I had in my possession my flexible little friend which I had acquired only the week before and my palpitations and panic lessoned as I suddenly knew what to do with my new found friend, you see the powerful piece of plastic I had acquired was the IAA card and this was the perfect opportunity to give it the first airing out of my purse, so I smiled sweetly at the scowling vision before me and calmly pressed the card into her hand, a look of embarrassment spread across her face and a glow of crimson started at her neck and spread quickly to her cheeks until I am sure her face felt as if it was on fire, she now understood the panic I felt when people like her make assumptions and think I have a badly behaved child. I took back the card without even uttering one word to this woman and calmly got my groceries and marched out head held high, the sense of power that one little plastic card gave me that day was amazing and it saved me from having to converse with the scarlet woman and gave me back my dignity.

To all other parents with children with Autism I would urge you to get this card for your child, it will be the most important card in your wallet, it is my new found friend and a life saver when panic strikes and you want to preserve your dignity

Thursday, March 4, 2010

My 99 things

Started your own blog . Em you are looking at it!!

Slept under the stars

Played in a band

Visited Hawaii

Watched a meteor shower

Given more than you can afford to charity several times.

Been to Disneyland second trip coming up soon :)

Climbed a mountain Croagh Patrick.

Held a praying mantis

Sang a solo Several solo's actually in school and other variety performances, not the royal one though lol

Bungee jumped

Visited Paris Several times as I am in love with the place!

Watched a lightening storm Yep watched a right doozy of a one in Florida on my honeymoon.

Taught yourself a art from scratch.

Adopted a child

Had food poisoning. Who hasn't

Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty Didn't actually walk to the top but did walk into the lift !!

Grown your own vegetables

Seen the Mona Lisa in France

Slept on an overnight train

Had a pillow fight

Hitch hiked

Taken a sick day when you’re not ill

Built a snow fortIn the bad snow in the eighties did this.

Held a lamb We had two lambs who lived in our garden when we were children for a while and one morning we woke up and they were gone, they were duly found in little pieces in the freezer!! Have never eaten lamb to this day since that discovery.

Gone skinny dippingUnfortunately yes I have in Majorca on a wild girls holiday, swam out into the bay and got promptly stung on the leg by a jellyfish!!

Run a Marathon

Ridden in a gondola in Venice

Seen a total eclipse

Watched a sunrise or sunset

Hit a home run

Been on a cruise

Seen Niagara Falls in person

Visited the birthplace of your ancestors Kilkenny

Seen an Amish community

Taught yourself a new language

Had enough money to be truly satisfied

Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

Gone rock climbing

Seen Michelangelo’s David

Sung karaoke

Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt

Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant

Visited Africa Egypt - wow!!!

Walked on a beach by moonlight Several times :)

Been transported by ambulance Several trips unfortunately:(

Had your portrait painted

Gone deep sea fishing

Seen the Sistine Chapel in person

Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris

Gone scuba diving or snorkeling

Kissed in the rain

Played in the mud

Gone to a drive-in theater

Been in a movie

Visited the Great Wall of China

Started a business

Taken a martial arts class

Visited Russia

Served at a soup kitchen

Sold Girl Scout Cookies

Gone whale watching

Got flowers for no reason

Donated blood, platelets or plasma

Gone sky diving

Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp

Bounced a check

Flown in a helicopter

Saved a favorite childhood toy

Visited the Lincoln Memorial

Eaten Caviar

Pieced a quilt

Stood in Times Square Did this just before Xmas

Toured the Everglades

Been fired from a job Yes but only because I wouldn't have a relationship with my then boss, he claimed I was being made redundant!!

Seen the Changing of the Guards in London

Broken a bone Technically its not a bone but I did break my elbow after falling down the stairs, I was carrying a basket of washing down and slipped and went flying, when my hubbie found me I had a pair of knickers on my head and he peed himself laughing!!

Been a passenger on a motorcycle

Seen the Grand Canyon in person

Published a book

Visited the Vatican

Bought a brand new car

Walked in Jerusalem

Had your picture in the newspaper Yes was involved in a march to the Dept of Environment in relation to dumping of waste in our locality and ended up in the Independent:)

Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve

Visited the White House

Killed and prepared an animal for eating

Had chickenpox

Saved someone’s life

Sat on a jury

Met someone famous

Joined a book club

Got a tattoo

Had a baby Two actually!

Seen the Alamo in person

Swam in the Great Salt Lake

Been involved in a law suit 3 to date!

Owned a cell phone

Been stung by a bee

Posted by Taz at 2:49 PM
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Abacus Drogheda Needs Your Vote: in the AIB Better Ireland

Abacus Parents Assocation is working everyday to maintain the additional services which are essential to the most effective intervention for our kids.

Abacus Drogheda is in the final 3 for the AIB Better Ireland grant scheme.

The group who comes 3rd gets €2,000,

2nd Place will get €3,000

But If we win we get €5,000 !!!

You can help simply by Texting:

DROGHED-B to 51303 as many times as you can. And by telling everyone you know to do it too.
Texts are charged at the standard text rate

Go to:

And then select: Louth in the County List and Drogheda in the Branch List,... See more

Then select B for Abaile

You can vote once per day per email address. So if you have several email addresses please place a vote for each one. And it costs you nothing.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus!!

Todays sermon ladies and gentleman is a bit of a delicate subject,  recently I have been experiencing difficulties in my marriage, you see once upon a time girl meets boy decides to settle down and get married and have children and everything will be blissfully happy right?  Wrong! I am ashamed to say that before I had my children I took pity on parents of special needs children, how awful a life if you could call it that did they have with these children. I never for one moment thought that I would be in the same position as they were but here I am and I now hate to see the pitying looks you get when your child has a meltdown or has difficulties at school, the smiles that don't quite meet the eyes or worse the ones who cross the road to avoid having to deal with you at all! Its hard enough to get other people to understand it let alone your partner in all of this. This definitely can separate even the strongest of marriages, you have two choices, either you pull together and be stronger as a result of the challenge ahead of you or you fall apart and go in opposite directions.
Unfortunately it is usually the mother who ends up doing most for the child or children with special needs and the dad gets the verbal bits of what is being done to help them but we need support in order to keep us going and fight the battles that need to be fought. I am not sure if men in general get that we need someone strong and supportive that we can lean on when times get tough for us, in my case my hubbie is a wonderful dad but I am not sure he GETS IT, I think some men find it very difficult to cope with accepting that their child is different and almost go around with blinkers on until something comes to hit them over the head and it dawns on them that all is not ok. Mothers instinct is to nature and nurture and men just tag along for the ride.

Why is it that things have to be pointed out to them before they realise that something needs to be done surely its not that difficult to pick up on that you need help and support and a shoulder to cry one when things get a bit bumpy along the way. Well as this blog says they are from Mars and need that gentle nudge ( or big kick) to realise that things are not all that they seem. Marriage is tough enough without having special needs kids thrown into the mix which can stretch a relationship to breaking point and make you want to pull your hair out in frustration.

However we plod along willing to give it a go and make the best situation we can for our children, not everyone will survive their relationship and some will probably be better off for that, we all have tough times and hit rocky patches, some people will have them more than others and some are lucky that they are strong enough to survive whatever stands in their way, I plan to be the one who survives anything that stands in my relationships way but that doesn't mean it will be easy, oh no I expect lots of pitfalls along the way, and plenty of kicks up the backside for himself to remind him to GET IT!!!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Seven things about me!

Well here goes nothing, all my esteemed bloggers have blurted out there seven things so I will embark on the same mission. I warn you all it may be extremely boring as I live such a dull and sheltered life lol.

1. I have a dread of being late for anything, this has been a major blight in my life as if I am
even a minute late I break out into a cold sweat which gets progressively worse the later I

2. I once foolishly went skinny dipping in Majorca in the middle of the night while very pissed
with my friend and two guys we met, I got out in the middle of the bay in Santa Ponsa and
promptly got stung by a jellyfish!! It was not a thing to be repeated.

3. I have a absolutely crippling fear of Piers as a result of my dad nearly backing the car off one
down in Wexford, I actually get out of the car if we have to go on one and I am so paranoid I
take the children with me.

4. This will be hard to believe but a guy I used to go out with threatened to commit suicide when
I broke up with him, he is alive and well to this day!

5. I used to be a solo singer in the choir in School, I also did drama and was in productions in my

6. I have a very high pain threshold, I know this because when I was in labour with my first
child they kept offering me a epidural and I refused, after 24 hours they were amazed I
never asked for it and told me that they could count on one hand the amount of women who
turned it down!

7. Finally I am fiercely loyal to my friends and would do anything to protect them, however I
hate to be made a fool of and find it very hard to forgive someone for doing it.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Autism Angels

Recently I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed by the whole Autism, Aspergers diagnosis of my children, I had hit a big speedbump in the road and couldn't find my way over it. Luckily a Autism angel came to my rescue and kindly offered me the chance of attending the We will Rock you Show in the O2 today. It literally brought me back to life, to be able to take joy in something and see others feel the same way felt wonderful. My Autism Angel knows who she is, she is the angel for so many of us and the one person we look up to in times of crisis and despair.
While we were watching the show my mind was creating this blog, this show was all about a pair of outcasts who dared to step out of the status quo and do their own thing and look for a different way of doing things, does this sound familiar to any of you? I know it certainly resonated our children's differences for me, In the end they overcome their struggle and conquer the world who tried to make them fit in and conform, everyone cheered and clapped, why can't it be like this in the real world when our kids try to do this?
Of course this is make believe, a show for entertainment but it does happen in real life everyday for our kids, they fight to conform in order to fit in so that they won't appear abnormal to the neurotypical world and we try hard to prepare them for this because we are conscious of how cruel the world at large can be.
I find myself cheering at the one's who stand out of the crowd, they walk to their own beat and bang their own drum, yes they try to fit in but stand out sufficiently to be extraordinary and follow their own path. I say thankgod for diversity and all it brings with it!!

I had five Angels with me today and I enjoyed their company very much, you all know who you are. I think we are all fortunate to have met our Angels here on Earth to watch over us.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Has history taught us nothing?

My mind is racing today as I have come from a very long meeting involving one Principal and two teachers in my daughters school. My head is pounding and my heart is racing from all that both they and I had to take in this morning. You see today I went to the school to go about getting my daughter the intervention and resource hours she needs to help her achieve her full potential in a mainstream setting, this is no mean feat as the Principal and I are not on the same wavelength, the resource teacher is a dote and wants to help in anyway possible and her classroom teacher resembles Barbie in every way possible and has a bit of dopey thrown in for good measure!!
I hand over copies of the report from the infamous Prof to each of them and wait for responses to be given, the principal's response is to tell me I need a letter from my GP stating she is on meds for ADHD as that is the only way that the SENO will take it seriously, he then informs me that he is not hopeful of her getting her resource hours as he has had two cases worse than her refused recently, my heart sinks I have to start another battle just like I had to with Kyle only this one seems tougher to me due to the cutbacks in place.
The dote of a resource teacher wants to help in any way possible and says he will speak to the principal about the possibility of having a half a hour one to one lesson with her every day. I could kiss this man, he enquires after my well being and remarks it must be tough having two children on the spectrum, I nod my head afraid that if I respond to his kindness I will dissolve into tears, he knows this of course and gently touches me on the arm as if to say "I understand and its ok"
The Barbie doll has to be told what way to teach my child so therefore I go in armed with a copy of the Dept of Eds recommendations on how to teach a child with a learning disability, she looks at me in shock and nearly falls off the chair in surprise, I think she assumes I must have a learning disability as well as she treats me as if I have not got a brain in my head, well today she had her eyes opened!! No more Mrs nice guy.
The one thing that struck me about these encounters was when I posed the question to the principle as to what would happen to children in mainstream whose hours were taken off them or the sna's removed. He said it would pose a serious dilemma for schools as to how they would be able to teach them, He said the Dept were clamping down on resource hours and eventually wanted them gone altogether as well as the sna's. I said to him surely this is consigning children like mine to the scrapheap and he nodded his head sadly.
Now this is where the history bit in the title comes in, it strikes me that like Hitler wanting a super race this also goes for the Dept of Education! They want children who have blonde hair and blue eyes and brains to burn in their schools, not for them are the children who are just as bright but have difficulties in expressing their potential in a conventional way in our society. We all know of the practise of some schools CHERRYPICKING their students, they wheedle out the weakest link without so much as a by or leave, thats what the entrance exam is there for. I find myself questioning what life would be like with all these blonde haired perfect children and the answer is simply this, AUTOMATED! Who wants to be perfect anyway? Not me.
I am not going to allow anyone consign my children to the scrapheap or to be extinguished like in the holocaust just because the powers that be want everyone to conform and be a super race so I will continue my fight for my children's rights and pray to god to give me the strength to do it.